Stay inside

Happy times would be nice if there were times of happiness to be previously had in the future. The female with the red top scribbling intently into her little notebook inspires thoughts of applied ideals which never should have seen the light of day. The lack of hydration in the brain stem makes the organism have difficulty sorting out its thoughts. The time is revealing slowly but surely. I should know by now. The fact of the alternating black and white (not blue and brown) tiles upon the floor indicate the eminent rationality behind plato’s theory of the focus. Or maybe I’m just fucking with you. Either way the answer is the same; does detachment provide hope for solution or should one actively pursue the mater. She looks out of the shop, intelligence in her eyes – stupidity in my own. Why is it so difficult to figure out this part of the world. There is something in Halifax which does not like me. I can feel the presence of the nefarious spirit – trying to crush the pleasure out of the place. I need to find a groove and fast. I can’t be idle like this.
Freedom eludes me. I may not be able to articulate what I’m trying to say. The brain flips and flips and flips some more. She is wonderful. I need to stop. Stop stop stop stop stop! I must be free. Freedom comes from detachment. You’ve lost out there, win in here. Nothing to be done. Nothing to be done. Nothing to be done.
I don’t feel as though I “know” myself right now. I don’t know what it is I’m meant to do now so I feel at a loss. My answer to the question is murky at best. I need distance from it but it claws at my calves, demanding response. I once felt as though my words came from within me. Now they come from beyond. Their twisted syntax and lack of true meaning reveal the random permutations of some unknown place accessible only in certain ways. The more I feel it the more trapped I become. Someone will come to liberate me, someone will come to liberate me. Keep praying for the redemption story. It will never come. Existence will drag on. You will always be alone. It is not so terrible as that but it is what it is. You know you recognized this. That is what the summer was about. What I wouldn’t do to go planting right now. Alas not so possible. Just stay inside. Stay inside stay inside.